Sunday, October 3, 2010

Random Thoughts from DeKalb

Cool, I don't have to wait for 20 minutes before the race to start lining up because I'm getting a call up. That was weird everyone rolling up on me from behind at the start. Am I in the right gear to start? Oh shit, I'm clipping in with the wrong foot! Shitty start. Power up, catching.Get up Lew.  Do I double up on the steps or single step with my stubby legs?  The fly over wasn't that bad. The guy right behind me sounds like he's having a heart attack, he's breathing so heavy. Oh it's just Brian Morrissey. I can pass him. Up the flyover double stepping, not bad. What the hell just happened? When I sat on my bike at the plateau of the flyover, one of my testicles shoots up into my throat. What the hell is poking me in my butt? Shit, the nose of my saddle is attempting to sodomize me! Should I quit or stand for the next 2 laps? Onward. Come to a complete stop after every dismount, so as not to impale yourself. No energy standing up. Anybody got a spare bike I can use? Why would anybody follow me up the stairs? Turns suck standing on every one.
After the race I feel nauseated, not because I exerted myself, but because I just go whacked in the nuts.
Elvis Cross here we come!

1 comment:

brianfmorrissey said...

You should hear my obscene phone calls!